36 replies to this topic

[Kinewa]

I guess everyone gets a bit annoyed with their parents, especially when they start to reach that age when it's time to move out. (I'm 17) I realize that my problems are by far better than they could be, but I am annoyed nonetheless.

First of all, my mom has three different modes:

1. She's at work or busy with something important.
2. She's hanging out with her friends, none of whom have kids my age.
3. She's sitting/napping on the couch with a book or the TV on.

I just can't help but wonder what happened to family time. It seems they only want me around when we're all watching TV or eating dinner. For example, my mom and her boyfriend like to play cribbage a lot. For years now I've been asking if she wants to play a game of it with me, but she complains that she doesn't want to or she has other stuff to do. Her friends come over all the time but rarely are mine allowed to.

Also, whereas other families go on trips together, whenever my mom travels it's to get away from me. The dialogue goes something like this:

"I'm going to drive up north next weekend."

"Awesome, I haven't seen Grandma and Grampa in forever! Sounds fun!"

"No, I'm going alone. I need to get away from you for a while."

"Oh. Well...."

"Besides, you get to stay home and watch the cat."

I'm not really that bad of a kid. I get good grades, I'm respectful, I'm honest. Heck, I wouldn't even dare talk back even though I have friends who get away with yelling at their parents. I don't understand why mine don't want to be around me.

This week, my mom's boyfriend's 12 year old daughter is visiting from Ottawa. Lo and behold, now we're the perfect family. They're taking us on bike rides, fireworks shows, Wonderland and even the zoo. Sure, it isn't like they don't bring me along, but I know that if his daughter wasn't here we definitely wouldn't be doing anything. Heck, if I wasn't here it wouldn't even make a difference.

Sure, I'm not a little kid so I guess they aren't going to 'play' with me anymore, but they don't even treat me like an adult. I feel like I'm stuck in a void between going on trips as a child and playing card games as an equal. Although we aren't fighting (I'm not allowed to fight with my parents) I have a feeling that I'm not really welcome at home anymore.

Oh, and just to make it a little more pleasant, my mom told me that I can only paint my room if it's a colour that she'd approve of having in a guest room. That's uplifting.

Then there's my dad. He moved here from Sault Ste Marie so he could be with my sister an I, then he calls me maybe once every two weeks. Meanwhile, he goes to the bar everyday to hang out with his friends. Is it that hard to spend some time with your daughter? Heck, I'm going to be off to university or wherever soon and no one seems all that interested in spending time with me while they still can.

Sorry this is so long.

[Caseyweederman]

Aww, we love you! hug

[Kinewa]

Hehe. Thanks, Case. *Hugs bacK*

[Megan]

i think its an age thing i don't really do much with my parents we don't even share the dining table unless we are eating out and well i don't usually go on holiday with them. You get used to it, its not that they don't want you around its more you are old enough to entertain yourself type thing

[Moose]

hmm i find this strange. since with my family, it's sort of the opposite. where my parents just nag and nag for me to do more and more stuff when i get no time to just do whatever i want. which is usually on the computer I think your parent think that they've had enough of the family time. you should go places yourself, if they can go, you should too. and also, if they wanted you away, if you left they would appreciate that wouldn't they? Theres not much to do, but you should learn to ignore it and hang out with your friends.

ah i dunno, I'm not the person to help you, although, here have a banana!
*hands over banana*

[Kinewa]

Banana. *Munch gloop*

Bananas aren't crunchy so they gloop.

[Jacaloogawooga]

Kinewa! I would love if my parents didn't want to drag me places and on holidays...but I see where you are coming from with the dad thing, My dad lives far away and calls MAYBE once a month...don't worry about it. Parents expect us to not want them, and os you'll either have the parents who force you to stay with them or force you to leave them alone...Bananas have potassium and triptophan *SP that makes you happy

[Moose]

ah, well my 'dad thing' can be rather simple because he lives a few streets and courts down from my mum's house. That solved the whole problem with being long distance trouble. Although i still have to take everything i need from one house to the other every weekend, and double up on computer software.. and i believe bananas are of the Musa genus if i remember correctly.

[Kinewa]

I suppose this is just one of the many cycles of life.

And bananas are gushy. I had one for breakfast.

[rickoshay818]

Err.. not really the cycle of life, it only happens to some people, my parents urge me to go with them to places and I go blah blah yadda and all that crap with absoloutley no free (mostly spent on me comp. ) but I'm okay with all of it, I don't really want my parents to do nothing with me, but I guess I'd get through it. Trust me, they'll be righting letters to you, calling you, and all other stuff in while your in college. They'll miss you more then you can imagine. Trust me. If they won't miss you then, well, that just means they probaly don't care.
Sorry about this if it makes you that upset. Just think how much they're going to miss you while your away and you'll be fine.

[CoreTechs]

But remember Ricko, you are 11 and that is much different than being 17, 18, or 19. Of course your parents are going to want to take you everywhere, it is their responibility to take you with them. Not saying they wouldn't when you are older, but as you get older, you are allowed more responsibilities and they may want to go off without you sometimes. You may or may not understand right now, but as you grow older, they will sometimes let go of whatever length of leash they have you on to find yourself without their help.

[Caseyweederman]

Our generation says "Leave me alone, stop caring about me, I don't need you."
Our parents' generation says "Ok."
This is a terrifying combination.

[Moose]

ricko goes to college? eh, these situations will never still be that simple. There's always the factor, are you the youngest child your family? Usually that gives you a lot more attention than you already need. What's your relationship with your parents? depending on how close you are, obviously is going to depend on how much they care about you going off and possibly destroying your life. etc etc.
I don't think we can compare situations, cause any minor detail in our explanations can change the resolution. Really, you either move out, or put up with it.
My 19 year old sister moved to my nan's house supposably for better transport and closer to everyone else. But it was quite obvious that she was really getting sick of my parents. Things just get boring and more and more irritating over time.

[Kinewa]

Fortunately I will be traveling for a year soon so I won't have to officially move out to get away for a bit.

[Jacaloogawooga]

hey, coretechs...I remember what it was like when people would say "you're only 11 you'll understand when your older" and those people were only 17 or 18 or 19 and I would think 'well, I think i'm old enough to comprehend it now, and you're only like 6 or 7 years older than me' So, just informing you, it hurts your ego and your self-esteem to say that. I'm sure he's quite mature enough, especially if his parents have other kids older than him...do they, Ricko??

[Megell]

Ever heard the saying... the grass is always greener?


Remember everyone has there family things, and may people, even though they don't look it are in the excat same boat as you.

[CoreTechs]

hey, coretechs...I remember what it was like when people would say "you're only 11 you'll understand when your older" and those people were only 17 or 18 or 19 and I would think 'well, I think i'm old enough to comprehend it now, and you're only like 6 or 7 years older than me' So, just informing you, it hurts your ego and your self-esteem to say that. I'm sure he's quite mature enough, especially if his parents have other kids older than him...

I wasn't attacking his maturity or self esteem. I don't know what is family situation is like compared to anyone else's, all I was doing was putting some things into some sort of perspective. Generally as people get older they have more responsibilities to look after, and can take more care of themselves.
From what I have seen on these forums, Ricko is pretty mature. And looking at my own past, I know I wasn't that mature when I was his age.

[Moose]

yea, i gotta say that too. Besides how harsh you might see telling someone they are not old enough to understand or contribute, i have to say it's quite true, well in this situation anyway. When i look back at myself 3 or 4 years ago i think how really idiotic i was, not saying that ricko is idiotic, i don't really meet anyone who is mature at that age. Probably from all this hanging around you oldlings but then again, in 3 or 4 years time ill probably look back thinking i was an idiot too. eh, i never win.

[rickoshay818]

rofl this is overwhelming. Stop talkin about me being so young and I can't understand that blah blah blah yadda yadda crap. I can understand just as much as any of you, and maybe a few years difference doesn't matter. Now let anyone say what they want about the topic wishfully and stop interveneing. Sheesh! Didn't know that when i'm older i'm going to argue so much.

And core thanks for the compliments.

[Keisad]

Lets all talk about Ricko!

But I must agree, you surpass my maturity in your age right now. About that time, I was giving my grandma the bird and flushing flaming things down my toilet.