32 replies to this topic

[Moose]

yes i think its time for a little bit of lame jokes! okok lets make this like the old ss thred! no posts without a joke in it!

A young 16 year old girl is driving back home when a guy that was around 20 years old stops her

The guy says: "M'am, please step out of the vehicle. I drew a circle with chalk about 5 meters away. Please do not step off the circle."

The girl steps in the circle

The guy then breaks the windows of the car

The girl giggles

The guy takes out the car radio

The girl laughs

The guy gets frustrated and smashes the car

The girl laughs out loud

The guy asks "Why are you laughing"

She says "When you werent looking, I stepped out of the circle"

[Kinewa]

You forgot to include that she was blonde.

There two Newfie pig farmers, and each of them bought a new pig. Farmer Joe said to Farmer Brown, "How will we tell the pigs apart?" Farmer Brown replied, "How about I cut one ear off of my pig, so my pig will be the one eared one and yours will be the two eared pig."

The next morning, Farmer Joe came to farmer Brown's house, complaining that Farmer Brown's pig bit the ear off of his pig. "Now how will we tell them apart?" "Well," Farmer Brown replied, "I'll pluck one eye out of my pig."

The next morning, Farmer Joe came back. "The pigs got in a fight again, and your pig bit that eye out of my pig! Now what do we do?" Farmer Brown said "I'll cut one leg off of my pig."

Yet again, the next morning farmer Joe shows up, claiming that Brown's pig had bit his pig's leg off. "How are we supposed to tell them apart now?"

Farmer Brown thought for a bit, then said "Alright, I'll take the pink one, and you take the black one."

[Faselei]

Okay i heard this France, it shocked me. I didn't know they had a sense of humour...

An Englishman, a Frenchmen and a bueatiful women are in a train compartment.

The train goes through a tunnel and the lights arent on, its pitch black.

Sudenly, all that is heard is a "thud!!! ... whack!!!"

When they come out of the tunnel the Frenchmen is holding his face...

The Frenchmen thinks "Ouch! Maybe the Englishmen tried to kiss the women and she slapped me by mistake",

The woman thinks "Maybe the Englishmen tried to kiss me and kissed the Frenchmen by mistake... ",

The Englishman thinks, "Next time we go through a tunnel i'm going to nail that French bastard".

[Kinewa]

>.< I love jokes involving French people!

Okay, what did the zen master say to the hot dog vender?


Make me one with everything!

[Megell]

Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Lol, sorry if I offended, but its my favorite joke.

[Caseyweederman]

Wow. That joke uses only one feeble vehicle of humour.
In fact, this tool alone should not be considered humour.
That joke, for example, is just offensive.

[Megell]

Wow. That joke uses only one feeble vehicle of humour.
In fact, this tool alone should not be considered humour.
That joke, for example, is just offensive.

And things that people find offensive I find hillarious.

[Kinewa]

Does anybody see a similarity?

Yes? No?

Does anyone even know who I'm referring to?

[Caseyweederman]

Megell ~ Mizukage?

There's only one way to tell which is the real Ben. A fight to the death.
All of my money is on Mizukage.

[Megell]

But make peace not war~! (unless you know your stronger then them, then CHARGE!)

[Kinewa]

Megell ~ Mizukage?

I knew someone would catch on.

[Moose]

maybe thats the 'M' syndrome? o crap i am m

[Megell]

maybe thats the 'M' syndrome? o crap i am m

Don't worry, you also need a first name in real life starting with "B" to be effected by said "M" syndrom.

Then otherwise you will just have the condition known as breathing, typically associated with the sickness known as "being human". But don't worry, its not fatal... most of the time.

[Moose]

O_O luckly my name starts with an m in real life too *wipes imaginary liquid off forehead*

[Mizukage]

Death! Death to infidels! and other undesrirable and obvious minorities...
I win.

[Megell]

Death! Death to infidels! and other undesrirable and obvious minorities...
I win.

But whites are a minority in the world order. Doesn't that mean you'd technically have to kill yourself...?

Infact, the more I think about it, the more I realize that everybody is at one time, or some way part of a minority. So doesn't that mean for you victory to actually happen, it would call for the death of the human race?!

And if we throw other beings into the mix, that means that all life on earth would be extingushed...?






...Can I help?

[Mizukage]

I have no qualms about that.
and you seem to be overthinking this, surely Kinewa has told you about my god-given right to kick ass? It comes with the territory.

And I don't know about you but i have never been a minority, in all my travels I have blended in with the surplus population, being a ninja I have access to many of thier class skills and feats. Its pretty cool.

And for the record I did a mock battle, Dread Pirate vs ninja spy, didn't go well for the pirate. First round sneak attack left the pirate with 65 fewer hp and paralysis and poison.

[Duma]

...Moving back to the jokes-

How can you tell Global Warming has his Tim Horton's?
The Ice Caps melt.

(Ba-dum tsh).

What do Math teachers use to carry things?
Asymptote bags.

(Ba-dum tsh)

And to add to the offensive jokes-

Why did Hitler kill himself?
He got his gas bill.

...No, I didn't hear a gun being loaded, did you? >_>

[Mizukage]

That, my friend is increadably offensive. you should be ashamed of yourself, have you no moral values?

Asymptote bags, jeez.

How do you start a jewish parade?
roll a nickel down a hill.

[Kinewa]

Did you hear about the man who made love in full plate armour?

He was into one knight stands.